10 Things That Make No Sense About The Goonies

10 Things That Make No Sense About The Goonies

Is The Goonies great? Yes. Is it iconic? Sure thing! But does it make sense?

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Richard Donner’s The Goonies continues to be one of the most beloved 80s family-films of all time. Written by Steven Spielberg and Christopher Columbus, the story follows a ragtag band of preteen outcasts on a quest to find pirate One-Eyed Willie’s buried treasure off the coast of Oregon. Along the way, The Goonies are chased by the criminal Fratelli family, who intend to find the buried treasure for themselves.

Released in U.S. theaters on June 7, 1985, The Goonies became a massive hit by turning an estimated $19 million budget into a nearly $64 million international grosser. The film grew in popularity with the advent of home-video and has since become an all-time cult favorite. With that said, the film still leaves a lot of questions.

10 Rube Goldberg Gate-Opener

Although it’s always a hilarious sight to see, there is simply no way the elaborate Rube Goldberg gate-contraption that the Goonies make Chunk go through at the beginning of the film makes any sense at all.

Rather than simply taking two seconds to unlock the gate latch, the kids rig a setup dependent on a chicken laying an egg, which could only occur once a day with a properly trained chicken. The contraption also uses a bowling ball, sprinkler system, balloon, and takes roughly one minute to complete before finally opening the gate.

9 Geographic Locations

Although the movie takes place in Astoria, much of the action is set along the coastline of the western United States. However, this makes little sense as Astoria is actually about ten miles inland from the coast.

Judging by the iconic landmark known as Haystack Rock seen in the film, it’s clear the film was shot in Cannon Beach. Astoria is roughly 30 miles from Cannon Beach, much too far away for the Goonies to reach while riding their bikes from Mikey’s house in that short of time.

8 Brand’s Unscathed Cliff Fall

While it surely makes no sense that Brand (Josh Brolin) doesn’t move his lips when screaming as he falls off a cliff, what’s more head-scratching is his lack of injuries following such a lengthy fall.

When Troy makes fun of Brand by riding the little pink bicycle belonging to Data’s sister, the smug letterman grabs Brand’s hand, revs his car engine, and releases his hand as Brand goes flying over the edge of a very steep cliff. Not only does Brand incredulously survive the fall, but he’s also shown to have escaped the fall completely unscathed.

7 Doubloon Alignment

One of the key clues The Goonies use to find One-Eyed Willie’s hidden treasure is the doubloon Mikey (Sean Astin) finds along with the map in the attic. Once reaching the proper coordinates along the coast, the doubloon is aligned with three landmarks including Haystack Rock, the lighthouse, and the Fratelli restaurant. This doesn’t make sense.

Since the map was written in 1632, the only landmarks that would have existed at that time would have been Haystack Rock. The lighthouse and restaurant would have been built centuries later.

6 The Fratelli’s Cave Pursuit

Very little makes sense about the Fratelli’s ferocious pursuit of The Goonies. First of all, wanted criminals would never let children who could identify their whereabouts go Scott-free.

However, what makes even less sense is the way in which the Fratellis find Chester Copperpot. Earlier in the film, Mikey engaged the boulder trap that blocked all the cave entrances and exits, thereby preventing any followers to find them. Still, moments later the Fratellis somehow get through the blockage and find Copperpot’s corpse.

5 Chester Copperpot’s Baseball Card

Speaking of Chester Copperpot, unless he happens to be the world’s first time-traveler, there’s no way on Earth he could have been in possession of a 1974 Lou Gherig baseball card. Why? Copperpot died in 1932!

Yet when the Goonies stumble upon Copperpot’s fetid corpse, Mikey pulls the man’s wallet from his pocket to identify his name. Along with his ID card, Mickey pulls out a Topps 1974 All-American Baseball Card of famed New York Yankee Lou Gherig. The Goonies also should have kept the card, which, in mint condition, it’s worth roughly $275,000.

4 Telephone Operation

At least two instances involving a telephone make zero sense in The Goonies. The first comes when the Goonies are printing fake money and Steph picks up a telephone in the background. She tries to use it but throws it down as if it doesn’t work. Later, Chunk uses that same phone to call the police when held captive by the Fratellis.

During Chunk’s call to the police, the Fratellis rip the phone cord out of the wall, and yet a dial tone is still heard on the other end as the sheriff holds up the receiver. There’s no possible way a dial tone would exist with the cord ripped out of the wall.

3 Golf Course Plot Line

The underlying plot of The Goonies asserts that Mikey and Brand are going to lose their house to a nearby country club intending to build a new golf course. To avoid such, The Goonies must find the hidden treasure and pay money to deter such land development.

But given the true fact that there is only one 9-hole golf course in Astoria, Oregon, it makes very little sense that anyone would invest in a golf course on such steep, hilly, topographically rough terrain.

2 The Legend Of One-Eyed Willie

The historical inaccuracy of One-Eyed Willie’s legend makes very little sense when one stops and really thinks about it. When the map is found in the attic, Mikey explains that Willie’s ship was captured by the British army. However, the British were not present near Astoria, Oregon in the 1600s.

In fact, the British wouldn’t begin exploring that region of the U.S. until the 18th century. More likely, the Spanish would have been present near Astoria in the 1600s.

1 Maritime Salvage Law

The Goonies concludes with Mikey saving his family’s home when housekeeper Rosalita finds a bag of jewels in his belongings. The implication is that Mikey’s family will use the jewels to pay the bank and ward-off foreclosure.

However, according to International Maritime Salvage Law, Mikey would have been the legal owner of Willie’s Ship and all the contents on board. The law stipulates that the person who first finds such a vessel and its contents are granted its rights.

Link Source : https://screenrant.com/the-goonies-makes-no-sense/

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