30 Rock 10 Hilarious Dr Spaceman Quotes That Make No Sense

30 Rock: 10 Hilarious Dr. Spaceman Quotes That Make No Sense

30 Rock was full of witty repartee and fast zingers coming from characters like Dr. Leo Spaceman. Here are his funniest and most nonsensical quotes!

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30 Rock was full of colorful characters full of catchphrases, witty repartee, and remarkably fast zingers. Repeated viewings of the hit show, which ran from 2006-2013, will still reveal new meaning behind familiar jokes and gags. One of the most beloved and perfectly underutilized characters was “Doctor” Spaceman, an excellent physician (and a pretty good dentist) to the cast members of TGS, NBC’s wild variety show.

They routinely came to him for everything from weight loss tips, to blood work, to complications with pregnancy, and he always had the exact wrong thing to say. Part of Leo Spaceman’s charm came from his paradoxical way of speaking and backward way of thinking. From the man who once sucked on a popsicle to get a tongue depressor, here are 10 hilarious Dr. Spaceman quotes that make no sense.

10 “SCIENCE IS…WHATEVER WE WANT IT TO BE.”

It’s in NBC’s best interest to keep the star of its variety show Tracy Jordan happy, and that means making sure he’s healthy while he’s taping episodes of the show. Like every other cast member, he’s brought to Doctor Spaceman, where he gets a DNA test.

Asking whether or not the test will tell him what diseases run in his family, or if it’ll help him remember his ATM card, “Doctor” Spaceman replies with confidence that it absolutely will, because science is “whatever we want it to be”. All doctors should hope to be so inspiring.

9 “WHAT, THIS? NO NO NO NO. I WAS AT A COSTUME PARTY, AND THE HOSTESS’S DOG ATTACKED ME, SO I HAD TO STAB IT.”

30 Rock was a nonstop cavalcade of comedy, with single lines often having as many as three or four different punchlines put in rapid-fire order. The cast was often given many different bait and switch routines, and one of the best was given to Doctor Spaceman.

When Liz Lemon, Jack’s fiance, and his mother rush to the hospital after Jack has a heart attack, Doctor Spaceman bursts into the lobby covered in blood. They gasp, horrified, and he’s forced to explain that he was at a costume party (as himself, apparently), and that a host’s dog bit him, so naturally he had to stab it.

8 “UNFORTUNATELY, THERE IS NO FIELD OF SCIENCE THAT DEALS WITH THE BRAIN, BUT I CAN GIVE YOU THIS PAMPHLET FOR A CULT!”

Jenna Maroney is often driven to hysteria about something on the set of TGS, and at a certain point, whether it’s being certain Tracy Jordan is getting more attention than her, or thinking that she needs to get pregnant to stop that from happening, she develops symptoms that warrant Doctor Spaceman’s evaluation.

He calmly tells her in her dressing room that she’s being psychosomatic, just a fancy word for her “brain is broken”, which one would think a physician could address. But apparently the Doc has never heard of neurology before, because he hands her a pamphlet for a cult where she can mentally collapse in freedom.

7 “LIZ, I BELIEVE DOCTOR-PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY IS A TWO-WAY STREET. I’M CHEATING ON MY WIFE.”

Like most of the employees of NBC required to see Doctor Spaceman for checkups, Liz often finds herself in worse shape than when she went in for her appointment. She actively tries to avoid him by going to another clinic entirely, but he shows up there anyway.

It’s probably because when he decided she was devoid of acceptable levels of Vitamin C, he suggests she eat an orange messily in front of him while he videotaped it. Or other barely-legal conversations they’ve had, where he believed the doctor-patient confidentiality agreement made it okay for him to tell her he was cheating on his wife.

6 “YOUR BLOOD TASTES LIKE ROOT BEER.”

When Tracy Jordan goes to Doctor Spaceman for a physical, he’s shocked at the results. Running it down in his typical deadpan delivery, the Doc explains that he has no reflexes, his “blood tastes like root beer”, and some of his bones appear to have vanished.

Oddly enough, the lack of reflexes and missing bones isn’t nearly as disconcerting as the fact that Doctor Spaceman had to drink Tracy Jordan’s blood to figure out that it tasted like soda. Later in the series if viewers are paying attention, they’ll notice when Liz Lemon finds bottles of Tracy’s urine around her apartment, it’s in soda bottles because it’s dark brown.

5 “WE HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING WHERE THE HEART IS.”

When Jack’s boss and idol Don Geiss goes into a diabetic coma, it’s Doctor Spaceman to the rescue. Except that apparently there’s nothing he can do for the man except make him more comfortable. When Jack suggests “sticking something into his heart”, he’s met with a shake of the head.

According to Doctor Spaceman, everyone’s different, and there’s just no way to know where the heart is on the human body. How can he be expected to save Don Geiss’s life, when he can’t even pronounce “diabetes”? Or refers to the department attached to treating someone in a diabetic coma as “diabetes repair”?

4 “WE HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING BECAUSE THE POWERFUL BREAD LOBBY KEEPS STOPPING MY RESEARCH!”

When Tracy Jordan starts promoting his “Meat Machine”, Jack brings Doctor Spaceman on board to endorse it as a safe product for American consumers. He agrees because after all, Americans need more meat in their diet in order to keep their spines straight!

During the commercial for his Meat Machine, Tracy asks Doctor Spaceman if it’s true that bread eats away at the human brain. He can’t tell for sure, because the “powerful Bread Lobby” stops his research, but one thing’s for sure, making a meat sandwich on Grade-A meat buns will maybe not let bread eat your brain.

3 “MRS. JORDAN, I’VE ALREADY ADMINISTERED THE EPIDURAL, SO WOULD YOU LIKE ONE AS WELL?”

When Tracy Jordan’s wife Angie becomes pregnant, it’s an exciting time for him and the rest of the crew at TGS. He’s not exactly sure if he’ll be a good father, but Liz, Jack, and the gang assure him that even if he’s questioning his responsibilities he needs to still be strong for his wife.

When she’s rushed to the hospital, Doctor Spaceman is summoned to help with the delivery. In classic Doctor Spaceman logic, he administers an epidural to help ease her pain…to himself. Why? Because Doctor Spaceman views everything about the human body as disgusting and needed something to combat the revulsion.

2 “YOU KNOW IF THOSE TEETH WERE IN YOUR VAGINA YOU’D BE CONSIDERED A MONSTER”

When Jenna is concerned about her weight, she goes to Doctor Spaceman for tips. His advice as a medical professional is to do explicit amounts of meth, but and asks exactly how attached she is to her teeth. Obviously for a respected C-list actress like Jenna, she didn’t like the thought of losing them.

When he does an oral examination, he makes an off-color remark that if her chompers were in her genitalia, she’d be considered a monster. While the comment may seem rooted in typical Spaceman ridiculousness, he’s actually referring to a medical condition pertaining to ovarian teratomas and the folklore based on a woman who had one.

1 “IF YOU SUFFER FROM DEFECTS FROM YOUR MOTHER SMOKING, USE YOUR MUTANT PAWS AND CALL THE NUMBER BELOW!”

In Season 6, Doctor Spaceman does a Chatterton’s Cigarette commercial which begins as an appeal to those children of mothers who smoked them during their pregnancies. He warns viewers about the fetal genital syndrome, which could cause all manner of birth defects.

If any of the viewers suffer from “Chatterton Syndrome” caused by the nicotine and tar in the cigarettes, they should either have their “Service Monkey” dial the number on the screen to speak with legal professionals or use their “mutant paws” to dial for themselves.

Link Source : https://screenrant.com/30-rock-hilarious-nonsensical-dr-spaceman-quotes/

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