(500) Days Of Summer 14 Important Lessons About Love That This Unconventional RomCom Taught Us

(500) Days Of Summer: 14 Important Lessons About Love That This Unconventional Rom-Com Taught Us

A cult classic about getting over a breakup, 500 Days of Summer has taught us a lot of lessons on love. Here are some of the most important ones.

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When (500) Days of Summer came out, it became an instant indie-film classic to rom-com and film lovers alike. Instead of showcasing a budding relationship, it depicted the main character’s (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) memories of his recently failed relationship with Summer (played by Zooey Deschanel). It was raw, real, and even painful to watch at times. It paved the way for future rom-coms to do something a little bit different.

While it may have come over a decade ago, so much about (500) Days of Summer still holds true today. It has withstood the test of time as a film that hits home for a lot of people dealing with a recent breakup. The lessons the film taught opened the eyes of many young people across the world to what might have gone wrong in their relationship and helped them cope with the reality that it was over.

Updated on June 12th, 2021 by Kristen Palamara: Although (500) Days of Summer premiered in 2009, it’s still a fan-favorite rom-com that focuses on some subversive themes for the genre. The movie provides the audience with helpful lessons about love and relationships from moving on from painful relationships to choosing to focus on yourself and your career to staying in reality and keeping your expectations in check.

14 Others Aren’t Responsible For Who You Think They Are

Tom has big ideas for his relationship with Summer and thinks that they’re going to last forever. The audience sees his true thoughts about how he perceives Summer and the expectations for their relationship, but it’s not reality.

Tom is devastated when Summer breaks up with him and doesn’t see it coming at all partly because of how he thinks Summer is without fully realizing who she actually is as a person and instead overly romanticizing their relationship. (500) Days of Summer explained that Summer wasn’t a villain and it’s a good reminder for the audience that other people aren’t responsible for how you view them.

13 You Can’t Move On If You Live In The Past

Although it makes sense to grieve after a sad event like a difficult break up, the movie chronicles Tom’s life and depression after he thinks his world has ended after his relationship with Summer is over.

Eventually, Tom is able to move on from the relationship and finds that he can again feel happy even though he’s not with Summer and he’s actually alone. The only reason he was able to move on was because he was able to let go of Summer instead of living in the past.

12 It’s Okay To Focus On Career Over Romance

Tom is obsessed with the idea of romance and is desperate to always be in a relationship and spends most of the movie trying to find the perfect partner. He’s devastated when Summer ends things, but eventually he’s able to move on.

Instead of jumping into a new relationship, Tom learns that he can shift his focus to his career and put his time and energy into becoming a successful architect which has been his dream job. The movie proves it’s not all about relationships and it’s okay to focus on yourself and your career and sometimes that’s healthier.

11 The Idea Of “The One” Isn’t Realistic

Throughout most of the movie Tom is completely convinced that he’s found “the one” in Summer. He thinks the search for his one true love is over and the two of them will live happily ever after, but it turns out not to be the case.

Tom is distraught and thinks that he’ll never find anyone again and that Summer was the perfect partner and he ruined his life by failing in the relationship. But, the movie proves that Tom is able to heal, move on, and even meet someone new by the end of the movie making the idea of “the one” unrealistic.

10 It’s Okay To Be Single/Alone/Independent

One of Tom’s vices in the film is that he thinks he has to be in a relationship and if he isn’t, he’s wasting his life away. It’s a huge problem and probably one of the biggest reasons he put so many expectations on his relationship with Summer.

Ultimately, you cannot be in a relationship that is healthy and positive if you don’t know how to be comfortable on your own. Sure, it can be lonely at times, but you need to learn that its okay to be in your own company without somebody else there to make you feel happy.

9 You Cannot Force Somebody To Love You

The entire film centers around Tom’s vision of what he wants with his relationship with Summer. He tried so hard to get her to love him the way he loved her, but it just never quite took off. No matter how hard he tried, and how much he wanted it, Summer was never going to have those same feelings.

You cannot make somebody love you, even if it hurts to admit it. Everybody has their own choices and feelings, and sometimes that doesn’t align with what you are feeling.

8 Your Expectations Will Never Be The Same As Reality

One of the most iconic scenes in the film is the “expectations vs. reality” moment of Tom seeing Summer again after their breakup. He imagines that they have a wonderful evening and even hints at them getting back together. In reality, they don’t talk the entire night and Tom goes home upset.

It is dangerous to let your expectations of how a relationship could be, take over your entire mindset. You cannot let your expectations get the best of you and your relationship. It doesn’t mean you can’t have them, it just means you need to be careful of how much pressure you put on them to succeed.

7 Don’t Ignore The Signs Of A Damaged Relationship

When Summer breaks it off with Tom, she points out that the relationship hasn’t been working. Tom is taken by surprise, heartbroken and quickly sinks into depression. So did he not see the signs of the relationship turning stale? Or did he just refuse to see them?

It may seem easier and less painful to ignore the signs of a damaged relationship, but in reality, you’re just making it harder on yourself. You’re living in a fantasy that will eventually crumble because there are two sides to a relationship.

6 It Is Important To Be On The Same Page

One of the biggest reasons that Tom and Summer’s relationship becomes rocky is because they were never on the same page. Tom never expressed to Summer how he really felt, and what he really wanted out of the relationship. While Summer had told him where she stood early on, it was never brought up again and Tom figured she didn’t feel the same way as they became more serious.

Due to this, their relationship became strained when Tom realized that Summer was not as dedicated to the relationship as he thought she was. Had Tom expressed how he felt early on, and what he wanted, the relationship might have been able to survive a little longer.

5 Don’t Let Your Happiness Be Dependent On Another Person

Possibly one of the most important lessons from (500) Days of Summer is that your happiness cannot be dependent on another person. Summer becomes the only source of happiness for Tom, and he loses himself because of that.

It is unfair to put that pressure on another person, but also on yourself. It is bound to end terribly and throw you into a deep depression much like Tom’s. If you want to have a good relationship, you need to make sure that you can make yourself happy too. It doesn’t mean another person won’t make you happy, it just means they won’t be your only source of happiness.

4 Just Because It Started Good, Doesn’t Mean It’ll Always Be Good

In the beginning, Tom and Summer’s relationship is clearly a good one. They have the same interests and get along easily, and the romance is adorable between the two. It is clear that it changes as the days roll along though, and doesn’t stay perfect.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and that’s just what being a relationship is about. You have to understand that it won’t always be good, and sometimes it’ll never get back to being good.

3 Liking The Same Band Doesn’t Mean You’re Meant To Be

Tom first falls for Summer because he finds out she has the same music taste as him, and he’s apparently never experienced that before. It becomes the catalyst for the entire film and an iconic moment in the film. Except that reality isn’t as simple as that.

You’re not meant to be with somebody just because they have the same interests as you. It might be exciting for a moment that somebody loves your favorite band, but that feeling passes and there are so many more elements that go into falling for somebody. Frankly, all of them are more important than them liking your favorite band.

2 There Are Always Two Sides And Feelings To A Relationship

The point of (500) Days of Summer is that we are seeing everything through the eyes of a man that has been broken up with. By the midway point, we are mad at Summer. We don’t like Summer because she’s broken the heart of our protagonist. That is what it is like when you’re seeing a relationship from only your side.

The film makes us realize that Tom’s view is not necessarily the truth, but instead, a biased version of events. Every relationship involves two people, and therefore two sides to a story and two feelings. One person’s feelings do not invalidate another’s, and it’s important in a relationship to take a step back and see things from your significant other’s perspective.

1 Life Goes On After A Breakup, But It’s Okay To Grieve

Tom takes his breakup with Summer hard. It hits him like a freight train and he struggles to recover from it. Eventually, though, he does. He picks himself up and he moves on. He even meets another woman that he could fall for.

Every breakup is hard, that is inevitable. It is also okay to grieve after one and take your time to heal your heart. Nobody grieves the same way, and everybody heals at their own pace. However, life will go on. It is not the end of the world when you and your significant other breaks up. It might feel like it, but give it a month or two and you’ll notice how much better you feel from the previous month. Promise.

Link Source : https://screenrant.com/500-days-of-summer-love-lessons/

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