Archer Ray Gillettes 10 Funniest Quotes Ranked

Archer: Ray Gillette’s 10 Funniest Quotes, Ranked

The international spy, Ray Gillette, is an underrated character on the animated adult show, Archer. Here are his best quotes.

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Ray Gillette is an underrated character on Archer. An international spy, Ray’s strength lies in his ability to blend into the background, but notice everything around him. He is a stealth grifter, seizing every opportunity for his own personal gain. Ray is also really funny. He brings a calm chaos to the group dynamic, from the recurring gag of losing his limbs, being a cyborg, Archer’s cyborg-ophobia, and also Malory’s homophobia. Like everyone else in the agency, Gillette puts up with a lot of trauma at his job.

Often overshadowed by Malory and Archer’s rampant verbal abuse, Ray’s humor is actually very witty. He is also the only character on the show who can outwit the mother and son with more intelligent clapbacks. As a result of his wit, Archer shares a begrudging respect for Ray, although Malory, as always, respects only those wealthier than her.

10 “Out Of Carburetor”

Apart from stealing money from Malory, Ray uses his intelligence to find solutions out of working, while still being paid. A hustler, finding the easy way out of work is a part of the Gillette family tradition. A later episode reveals that Ray’s brother is a weed grower, who refuses to get a regular job because it is too hard.

Alternatively, in ‘Jeu Monegasque’, Ray, Lana and Archer are in pursuit of hotel concierge, Benoit, who has stolen their Bearer Bonds worth $4 million. Each in racecars, pursuing the thief, Ray takes his foot off the gas pedal suddenly once he sees a rocket launcher being fired. “Y’all! My car is slowing down for no reason. Just must be out of carburetor,” he shouts, leaving Lana and Archer to get the money back themselves.

9 “Not A Bumblebee, Is It?”

Malory loses her money in a Ponzi scheme and decides to sell her spy agency to arch-nemesis and lover, Len Trexler. Archer is unable to accept his mother “leaving him for another man”, so he breaks into her office desk to retrieve a mind control chip. The plan is to insert the mind control chip in Trexler’s brain, to force him to rescind on the agreement. Unfortunately for Sterling, he finds more than he anticipated in his mother’s desk.

To make matters worse, Ray taunts him on the phone, asking: “[It’s] not a bumblebee, is it? It’s like a jackhammer!”

8 “I Am Gay”

After a kidnap attempt on Cheryl, the agency is on lockdown, as they try to protect Cheryl and her $500 million inherited fortune. Ray and Archer volunteer to go save Pam from the kidnappers who mistook Pam for Cheryl. Knowing that Archer prides himself on pioneering the turtleneck during missions, Ray wears a turtleneck too, to annoy him. Archer tells Ray that two men wearing black turtlenecks together looks “gay”, to which Ray replies, “I am gay.”

To further annoy Archer, he asks him why he is wearing a turtleneck if he is not gay, as he claims. “You better put that back in your purse,” Ray gloats when Archer pulls a gun on him.

7 “Chili Is Not Breakfast!”

One of the funniest running gags on Archer is Pam’s hedonistic personality. A woman with no self-control when it comes to bodily pleasure, Pam loves to eat. She is often shown in the break room eating out of a family-sized hot pot. In ‘Reignition Sequence’, Pam is once again in the break room with her coworkers, eating breakfast out of her hotpot. Horror-struck, the gang watch Lana and Archer feed each other romantically. As soon as the couple leaves, Pam throws up her breakfast into her hotpot while everyone is still eating.

“What, we were all thinking it!” she defends herself.

“That, and how chili is not breakfast,” Ray retorts, disgusted!

6 “Hey, Pirates”

While on a mission to rescue Archer, Ray makes the mistake of telling Lana that she is still attracted to Archer. In a fit of rage characteristic of Lana, she swerves the boat, accidentally forcing a blunt object into Ray’s eyes. When they land on the pirate island, Ray, now wearing an eye patch, refuses to speak to Lana. Her ranting is further provoked because Ray does not converse with her.

“Oh! Now, you’re giving me the silent treatment? What are you? Six?”

“No. Just professional,” Ray replies after Lana’s outburst causes the pirates to notice them. “Hey, pirates,” he adds with his hands lifted in surrender.

5 “Someday I’m Going To Write A Book About This Place”

It is no secret that Malory and Ray do not get along. Audiences’ first introduction to Ray is in ‘The Honeypot’ when Malory asks Archer to seduce a gay Cuban intelligence agent in order to blackmail him. Archer refuses and asks why Malory does not send Ray instead since Ray is gay. Malory’s first reference to Ray in the show is to call him, ‘Ms. Gillette’, pointing to why Ray does not, in turn, like her. Indeed the scene cuts to a cutaway of Ray telling Pam and Cheryl/Carol that Malory “has never liked me. But someday I’m going to write a book about this place. Mm-hmm! A real smackaroonie!”

4 “Y’all Know Me: I’m No Gossip”

“Not once, not ever has he volunteered for a dangerous mission, and now, all of a sudden, he’s like: ‘let me go’? On a night jump in the freezing cold, to kill a Finnish double agent? Please! So I’m like, yeah, let Archer go! But she’s like, ‘Ray it’s your mission, and that’s final!’ But why? Cos just between us gals and the C130, I think she used to [sleep with] – ick! – Nikolai Jackoff, the head of the KGB. I know, right? And I think Archer wanted this mission, so we could cross into Russia, cos he thinks Jackoff might be his father. And y’all know me, I’m no gossip, but that is some scandalous [story] right there!”

Immediately after, Ray takes a punch to the jaw from an angry Archer.

3 “Hey y’all! Here’s My Great Big, Ol’ Black Wife!”

The truth finally comes out that Ray was faking his disability. They make everyone leaving the hospital use a wheelchair to the exit, and his coworkers just assumed he was crippled. Seeing an opportunity, Ray ran with it for six months, so he could leave work regularly to go to “physical therapy”. Soon, Lana and Archer catch him stealing weaponry from work to go save his brother’s pot farm from a corrupt sheriff who wants to take over the farm.

Lana volunteers to go as his wife, since Ray comes from a small Southern town where homophobia is rife. Instead of gratitude, Ray exclaims: “What are you? Insane? Hey, y’all! Here’s my great big, ol’ black wife!” Lana is ignorant about rural America and does not realize that racism cannot make up for homophobia in Ray’s small town.

2 “That’s Me! Mr. Selfish!”

Unluckily for Ray, he becomes really handicapped after Sterling crashes the spaceship landing them back to earth. Malory keeps him on to work in tech, since that is his expertise. Nevertheless, she blames him for suddenly becoming useless as a field agent, despite Sterling causing the accident. In his typical sarcastic wit, Ray replies, “Yeah, that’s me. Mr. Selfish!” A character whose humor is already considerably dark, Ray’s humor becomes darker when he loses his legs. The character channels his depression into his clapbacks during these episodes.

1 “Only I’m Not Getting Whipped”

Gillette had a very sad childhood. He was not accepted, because he was different, and he was often bullied by his father and by schoolmates. On a ride to take out an assassin in ‘The Archer Sanction’, Archer forgets the mission dossier detailing which of the mountaineers is the assassin. In classic Archer, misdirection, he blames Ray for not bringing any gum, when he, on the other hand, brought plenty of mountain climbing equipment. After Lana and Archer argue, Archer berates Ray and calls him a witch. He proceeds to leave Ray alone in the jeep.

Poor Ray sighs and cries: “Just like every car trip I ever took with mama and daddy. Only I’m not getting whipped with a fan belt.”

Link Source : https://screenrant.com/archer-ray-gillettes-funny-quotes/

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