Friends 5 Times The Show Defied Social Norms (& 5 It Didnt) RELATED Friends 10 Ways Ross & Rachel Are The Worst Sitcom Couple

Friends: 5 Times The Show Defied Social Norms (& 5 It Didn’t)

In many ways, Friends was ahead of its time and often defied social norms. But the show wasn’t without its faults, and still a product of the 90s.

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The mega-hit sitcom, Friends focuses on the group dynamics of 6 characters going through everyday life and working towards social stability. Their day-to-day activities showcased a variety of social interactions and subsequently reflected the changing cultural and social norms.

Take, say, Sandra Green who went straight from her father’s house to the sorority house to her husband’s house. Her daughter, Rachel, on the other hand, lived life on her own terms. But much has been written about Friends and its inability to reduce prejudices. Compelling arguments can be constructed for both sides.

10 Defy: Phoebe Followed Her Own Rhythm

Out of the group of closely-knit people, Phoebe Buffay always marched to the beat of a different drum. She acted independently and once checkmated Ross in his attempt to convince her about evolution. She resisted Pottery Barn for a long time because she didn’t like her stuff to be mass-produced.

Phoebe’s biggest wishes were world peace and good things for the rainforest. She refused to conform to traditional “acceptable” standards of conduct and abstained from lying about her childhood experiences in front of Mike’s upper east side parents.

9 Didn’t Defy: Distinct Expectations For Boys & Girls

Season 1’s “The One with the Sonogram at the End” was an insight into how prejudiced the Gellers were towards Monica. At the end of the dinner, she was distressed by the long list of damaging expectations her parent’s placed on her.

Judy and Jack Geller couldn’t stop fawning over Ross, whereas they had low expectations for their daughter. Jack set a limit to Monica’s potential by pointing out “people like Ross needed to shoot for the stars” and thanked God their daughter wasn’t “trying to have it all.” Judy refused to eat Monica’s food, and she actively lied to her friends about her daughter’s profession.

8 Defy: Adoption

After struggling with infertility as a couple, Monica and Chandler decided to adopt. The birth mother was a young girl named Erica who reasonably put her babies (originally baby) for adoption because she knew she didn’t have the adequate means to care for them.

Friends accurately portrayed the real-life struggles of the Bings’ adoption journey. Monica and Chandler met with the adoptive parents, Bill and Colleen, to familiarize themselves with the process. The show normalized adoption by considering various aspects of the deal and by creating a welcoming and loving environment for baby Erica and Jack.

7 Didn’t Defy: Traditional Age Gap

Friends adopted a hypocritical stance on the acceptable age difference between men and women. Initially, Monica and Richard Burke’s romance was looked down up, but her friends eventually came around. He was her family’s ophthalmologist, her father’s close friend, and they were 21 years apart in age.

By contrast, Tag and Rachel’s age difference was negligible. She had a meltdown on her 30th birthday and suddenly realized she was too old to be dating a 24-year-old with a different set of priorities. All things considered, Tag and Rachel’s age gap acted as a barrier in their relationship, but not so much in Monica and Richard’s where the main point of contention was to have or not to have kids.

6 Defy: Sharing Wedding Expenses

Friends set a positive example by having Jack and Judy pay for half of Ross’s wedding to Emily. It is by no means mandatory nor any longer acceptable for the bride’s parents to bear the entire cost of the wedding. “To h*ll with tradition. We’re happy to do it,” said Jack as Stephen Waltham handed him his share of the bill.

Although Emily’s father tried to take advantage of Jack and basically charged him for re-modeling his house, the show nonetheless set a good example by doing away with the traditional norms.

5 Didn’t Defy: Ross And Rachel’s Pretend Marriage

At Geller’s 35th marriage anniversary, Ross and Rachel were amused to watch people walk up to them and congratulate them on the baby and wedding. They were whisked away by Judy who forced them to pretend to be married. “While we think it’s simply marvelous that you’re having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why we told them you’re married,” she said.

Friends squandered an excellent opportunity to dismantle the taboo surrounding single-parent families, and instead, had Ross and Rachel go along with the lie and make outlandish stories about their wedding.

4 Defy: Surrogate Motherhood

Phoebe’s friends and her birth mother were hesitant about her agreeing to be a surrogate mother for Frank and Alice. She defended her position by saying the gift of life was the greatest gift of all. Everyone advised her to think it through but regardless professed their love and support.

Frank and Alice were able to rely on Phoebe’s altruism and the show explored another dimension of motherhood. Phoebe did the greatest thing by helping her brother and sister-in-law have children. She did put her body through a lot, but in the end, she happily gave the triplets away.

3 Didn’t Defy: Idealization Of Marriage

Friends, on the whole, reinforces the idea of marriage and sees it as a stepping stone to a successful life. Throughout the course of the show, Ross idealizes the concept of marriage and yet fails to uphold its sanctity.

For people like Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe marriage was never really on their radar. While Chandler fell in love and in due time wanted to be with the woman of her dreams, Rachel and Phoebe made bizarre marriage deals with Joey and Ross. Phoebe almost said yes to David because Mike wouldn’t remarry, and Rachel felt a pang of jealousy when Monica got engaged.

2 Defy: Workplace Segregation

Season 4’s “The One With Phoebe’s Uterus” was an eye-opener in that it went beyond the usual group dynamics by showing conflict in the workplace. During Joey’s stint as a tour guide at Ross’s museum, he realized the scientists and tour guides couldn’t eat lunch together due to employment segregation.

It was Ross who drew everyone’s attention to the unacceptable nature of the division. He invited Joey to sit with him and called upon everyone to break down barriers.

1 Didn’t Defy: Lack Of Higher Education

Joey, unlike the rest of his friends, skipped college education and went into the acting business. The Geller siblings and Rachel Green came from affluent families and benefitted from their social capital. Joey and Phoebe, on the other hand, grew up poor in America. He had seven sisters and only one out of those (Dina) had access to higher education.

In “The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs,” Ross shamed Joey for his lack of education, by saying “It’s kind of disgraceful that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can’t name all the states.” While Phoebe compensated for her lack of formal education by learning skills and languages, the fact of the matter is Joey didn’t need to go to college to get into acting, much less be censured for it.

Link Source : https://screenrant.com/friends-times-the-show-defied-social-norms-didnt/

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